I don’t really have time to write this right now, but there’s a buzzing in my head. I need it to go away, and I know this will do the trick.
There is an increasing amount of anxiety building up within me right now for a number of reasons. In the past, this anxiety would be affecting my everyday life and causing issues, but my therapy sessions over the last several months have really helped me silence the negative survival voice that has been allowed to man the controls of my life for so long.
Things are good. Let me just say that right off the bat. It’s just that I’m moving toward this massive intersection of paths that I have no real idea what (if anything) exists beyond it.
In two months, I’ll have my degree and certification. No more school (for now). I can start working on other projects and put my focus toward things I’d rather be doing.
I can start gaming again.
I can start playing music again.
I can read and write and explore and research and do all the things that I’ve wanted to do for years now.
But, there is that uncertainty… this job, this election, the pandemic, my relationships, my routine, my health, my cat, my life, my future—all these threads are amassing in this intersection. So many threads that it’s getting uncomfortable as I move toward this one point in time. It’s crowded so close. It’s difficult to breathe. I’m excited and nervous.
What the fuck is going to happen to me?