Day Thirty – Quality Stock Tips From an Okapi (or, Mr. China Has Seven Splinters)



Rprt -22.22.511.

Earth Interplanetary Logistics and Colonization – Robotic Recon Team – Report – Assmt. 17501.R.TR73

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doesn’t make sense, where did this data come from?

decrypt was confirmed. appears it was validly entered from the lander

crazy shit. firestorm here

wtf happened up there?

Baseday 32 | 13:20:08

After my reconnaissance of the Southern plateau (SW34.S12.13’1”), I returned to our camp intending to deliver Rover 7 to the garage for maintenance. I sustained damage to the left rear wheel assembly when the rover impacted a large mineral deposit hidden by loose gravel. After an initial evaluation, I decided the wheel, while not functioning efficiently, would still perform well enough to make the trek back to the garage to be repaired by the robot team.

Though I hesitate to make entries into this log that are personal in nature, I have found that my communications with the AI psychologist suite have not settled my mind on certain issues affecting my work here at Titan R3V. I record these comments here as an exercise in airing grievances, and not as an accusation of wrongdoing.

When I returned to hab from my reconnaissance, having already dropped the rover off with the droids. I witnessed Capt. Davies and Chief Teague in apparent coitus. Tensions have been rising in recent days as I too have engaged in intercourse with Chief Teague on several occasions in the past several weeks, and she assured me that she was not receiving sexual attention from either the robots or Capt. Davies.

The look on her face was not one of shock or embarrassment. I saw no shame in her eyes as she continued to allow Capt. Davies to interact with her without notifying him that I had entered the room.

I left the room without drawing further attention to myself and retired to my quarters. I noticed, on my way back to my quarters, that one of newts had died.

Baseday 34 | 02:41:15

Capt. Davies and I have revisited the methane spring at NW2.N41.3’141″ to take additional readings and assess the possibility of bacteria living near or in the small pond. Tests are pending with results expected for Lab Report 141.3.

I confronted Davies with what I had seen and he laughed at me. He has accused me of seeing things, insisting that I imagined seeing he and Eve having sex. The visual is so burned in my memory that I cannot remove it from the forefront of my mind. I dropped a vial container into the methane pool, and I know it is a result of the stress of what I witnessed.

I feel a remarkable amount of jealousy at this moment. I do not believe Davies has tried to blow me off as having psychological issues. I know what I saw. His penis has much more girth than mine. I imagine she receives much more pleasure from him than she does me.

I have spoken with the MedBot about methods of increasing girth and length, but he has deliberately withheld the information from me. The nets are down, so I’ve not been able to research the enlargement methods on my own.

Baseday 37 | 09:34:01

All of the amphibian test subjects have died mysteriously. At first examination, it appears that each of them have had their spines broken through force. I have confronted Capt. Davies with this discovery and he denies that he has deliberately murdered my newts. I also brought to his attention that I most definitely heard he and Chief Teague having sex in the lab throughout the night. Again, he has refuted my claims, and suggested that I need rest. He has taken me off of duty for the next three days.

With Capt. Davies on recon for the length of my downtime, it will give me an opportunity to have time alone with Eve. That reminds me: I want to mention to her how unusual it is that she not only looks similar to my old flame back on Mars, but also shares her last name.

The results of Lab Report 112.2a have given me an idea for avenging the murder of my newts. I have decided to infect all six of Davies’s gibbons with the bacteria.

Baseday 38 | 14:10:32

Eve and I have reconciled. She assures me that Davies’s penis just looked larger and more satisfying due to the curvature of the glass on the helmet of my envirosuit. We had a very satisfying and romantic sexual encounter in the laboratory. I was not distracted in the least by the protests of the gibbons, who all seemed to be agitated.

I feel much better.

Baseday 39 | 23:16:17

I awoke today to the sound of screaming gibbons. I gave the lot of them a sedative and was able to continue on with my duties around base while Davies was out on patrol. Eve and I spent most of the day having sex and taking videos of me posing with her in various sexual positions.

Baseday 40 | 06:01:34

To my horror, I have discovered that Capt. Davies, in an obvious rage due to my renewed sexual relationship with Eve, has murdered all of my prized gibbons. On investigation of their deaths, I have determined they had all been infected with one of the bacteria strains we had attempted to relocate to the methane spring. It also appears that Davies has been giving them sedatives to keep them calm while they slowly died.

I did not confront him about this yet. I merely disposed of their bodies and sought consolation in the naked embrace of Eve.

I have decided that tomorrow I will kill him and dump his remains into the methane pool. I will make the necessary adjustment to the resourcing planning module to account for the sudden surplus of foodstuffs.

Baseday 41 | 15:40:44

I have spent most of the day searching the area for Capt. Davies and have been unable to find him. My intent to murder him has been overridden and forgotten as I have become frustrated with the fact that the daily patrols and recon were left to me in his absence.

To further complicate things, I returned to the garage today to assess the progress on the disabled rover from the other day and discovered Eve being pleasured sexually by no less than four of the robots.

I cannot complete with the metal bastards and have taken the axe to the lot of them. I realize this puts a great deal of responsibility solely on my shoulders, made worse by the disappearance of Capt. Davies. I have put in a requisition for more droids from Central Logisitics, specifically requesting they send robots without simulated male genitalia, or at least smaller simulated genitalia.

Baseday 42 | 23:15:54

I’ve searched all over for her while my oxygen lasted, but she is gone. I suspect that she and Capt. Davies have run off together and formed a base somewhere else on the surface of Titan. I did not notice any missing supplies, and none of the rovers are gone, but I am beginning to believe that the robots helped them escape, secretly building a second base without my knowing.

I will go out again tomorrow. I noticed some unusual lights in the distance just past the big mound SE14.S3.15’155″ but was unable to make it that far. This time I’ll find them.

Baseday 43 | 07:16:04

It’s them alright. I had to come back to get my axe. I had forgotten it. Davies must have come back to the base while I was masturbating last night and killed all the rest of the lab animals. I ate a few of the rats for sustenance on my trip I am about to take. With any luck, I’ll be back before nightfall and can be satisfied knowing they are all dead.

Encrypted Entries End

Incident Report – Titan Colony 2 – Utah Mesa

Governor Gregory Adams – Clearance W4X

To Administrator James Evans – Earth Interplanetary Logistics and Colonization

It grieves me greatly to be left with the task of penning the events you are about to read. What has occurred today has been one of the worst experiences of my life, and will more assuredly go down as the single greatest tragedy in the past forty years of our colonization efforts.

For a full understanding of the situation, I must relate to you events that occurred prior to today’s events.

Utah Mesa was completed in 2213 by a construction unit of droids that had been operating on Titan for five years. At the time they finished construction, it was assumed that there was no human presence on Titan. The last manned mission to Titan took place in 2203 and was assumed lost when a malfunction caused the lander to crash into the planet. A team of robots was sent to the surface of Titan to look for survivors, but the lander went down in a deep methane pool and was never recovered.

Our initial colony team arrived in 2214 and established a permanent human presence at Utah Mesa, where we’ve been successful and profitable for two years. We’ve had three additional colony teams integrated into population since that time, and at no point since the first team arrived have we had any accidents, injuries, or death.

This morning at approximately 09:13, guards were alerted to the presence of a man in Recon Team gear entering the colony grounds wielding an axe. When confronted by the guards, the man violently attacked and killed them without saying a word. The man then methodically marched from habitat to habitat murdering any human or robot in his path.

At 09:14 I received a comm report of the attack and authorized access to the colony arsenal. Providing weapons to two of my security team, I authorized them to shoot to kill. At 09:17, the two members of my security team fired and struck the assailant, killing him instantly.

The death toll here is seventeen, not including the attacker, and twelve robotic units are either destroyed or badly damaged.

After searching the area for signs of where the attacker had come from, we were able to trace his footprints back to a deep methane pool. It is our feeling that the attacker purposefully made it appear that he had walked out of the pool to throw us off his trail. I am sending out further investigative teams tomorrow to track down his base of operations, though preliminary scans show no sign of habitation or electronic or radio signals for one hundred miles in any direction.

I theorized this lunatic must have been a stowaway aboard one of the resupply ships, or even a colony ship. He must’ve been stealing supplies and hiding out in some of our empty habs.

I was wrong.

Jim, we removed the man’s environmental suit and confirm that he is Capt. David Teague, team leader for the 2203 manned mission to Titan. Yes, you read that right Jim. He survived somehow. Thirteen years. Good luck with that one back home. It might not be true, but the news feeds are going to have a hell of a ride with that bit, not to mention the fact that he had about thirty newt skeletons in his suit with him.

I’ve requested psych support at earliest convenience. There were a lot of kids in that body count, Jim. Things are rough here for all of us left.

Keep us all in your prayers.



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